Final Remarks

This is likely to be a short entry as I am feeling short on words today and not looking forward to final remarking. 
With about 1 week left, i can't believe my time is almost over.


[extended moment of reflection here]


I have met amazing people in my time here, people i work with, people i live with and people i have met through random circumstances. I have learned a lot about myself and about other people. I have learned that adaptability is key to living with so many people. Also, in living with so many people, the real colors come out pretty quickly and it's easy to really know each other. 


I have tried new things and experienced many cultures. The world looks a little different from here. Sometimes it feels like i'm stuck in a time warp when it comes to how much prejudice there is. It's like living in the 60s, there is so much idealism to work through and prejudice from an older generation that still filtrates through to younger people. Strange to be here and experience it all. I think I have learned a lot, but also realize that I have much to learn still. 


The next week I have plans to rock climb, mountain hike, surf, lay out on the beach and just enjoy my friends and my environment. I'm going to be missing all of that for a long time i think. 


I'll update again when i'm back in the states.. until then, cheers!

Restless

Tonight I am restless.
As defined in the Webster Dictionary:

1. characterized by or showing inability to remain at rest: a restless mood
2. unquiet or uneasy, as a person, the mind, or the heart.
3. never at rest; perpetually agitated or in motion: the restless sea.
4. without rest; without restful sleep: a restless night.

(forward: my thoughts are entirely choppy for this entry, just figured you should have  heads up. As I thought, I wrote and my thoughts are not always congruent)

I have gone to bed over an hour ago, i have laid in my bed, just trying to sleep. I have listened to most of my "sleep" playlist and tonight I just cannot seem to fall asleep. I have searched through my brain trying to figure out what is keeping me up, I have yet to figure it out. Maybe I ate something that kept me up, but i have not eaten anything in a few hours, I did not drink any coffee past 2pm. I came to sit outside, so as I type this i am sitting outside my house, on the porch-ish area. 


i am not really sure what i want to share with everyone. I feel like my time is coming to an end.... i know my time is coming to an end. As much as i look forward to seeing my friends and family, i sure will miss this place. I think i am anxious. 


I am anxious about going home, about leaving, about starting my internship, about going back to work and about figuring out my life. this anxiety i'm defining as: "Desire to do something, typically accompanied by unease" It is not constant or even common, but i think it is possibly what is keeping up tonight. I have been thinking about going home for the past couple days.


It is not perfect here, the government is corrupt, the impoverished people are desperate enough to hurt each other, the racism is widespread and the taxes are high. Despite the negative sides to this place, I love it. I think if i lived here long enough it would feel like home. The mountains are visible everywhere you go, the ocean is accessible by train in several directions, hiking and climbing is abundant and it almost never gets below 50* (during the day), even during the winter. For anyone who enjoys nature and wants the most of their outdoor time, this is the place to be. 


I have learned a lot from my time here. I have learned a lot about myself while being here. I am not sure exactly what I want out of life, but I know I am ready for it. I do not fear the unknown future, I look forward to it and have a desire to pursue whatever God's calling is for my life. 


I guess that is all i have to say for now. 
I hope everyone had a Merry Christmas

Cheers

Happy 21st of December!!

I can't believe it's already almost Christmas. It does not feel like Christmas at all here. I've been playing Christmas music for the past 4 days trying to make it feel more like Christmas, but no such luck. Although i've been making paper snowflakes and decorating the house in preparation, there is no snow outside, i'm wearing dresses instead of sweaters and the closest thing to a Christmas tree in our house at the moment is the decorated empty wine bottle. 

Somehow without the family, wrapping presents with mama, cleaning the house, baking puppy chow and prepping for mocha punch the Christmas spirit is lacking. Don't get me wrong, I am enjoying the warmth of summer time here, but Christmas means cold weather and snow to me. My friend and flat mate, Lisa, and i are  hosting Christmas dinner at our house on Sunday and we are so excited to be planning for it. As much as both of us are missing being home for the Holiday, we are making the most of it and enjoying the friendships we have here. 

To all my family and friends, i'm sad about not being home for Christmas. I did not realize how much Christmas means family to me until this season came around. The good thing is, ill be surrounded by the best people i know in this country.

So, for my last month here i've compiled a list of things i wanted to do before i came that i have done and still want to do. 

Things I have done:

• completed a 5 month practicum
• abseiling
• sandboarding
• rock climbing
• skydiving
• hiking
• swim with Penguins
• visit a children's home
• swimming with sharks (originally to go shark cage diving, but bating sharks into the bay is no good)
• made many baked goods
• visit a township
• spent time on all local beaches
• surfing
• kloofing
• Spelunking

Things I have not done yet:

• bungee jumping (probably will not happen this trip)
• shark cage diving (will not do, as it is hazardous to bring sharks into the bay)
• take the cable car to top of Table Mountain (will happen soon)
• gone on safari (may or may not happen)
• visit Robin Island (happens next week)
• scuba diving (happens next week)

So, I’ve been really blessed with everything I’ve done. I feel entirely lucky and wouldn’t have changed one minute of it. The time I spent at the hospital has given me a whole new perspective on life. I’ve seen so many families who are supportive of each other, seek the information they need, and moms who spend every waking minute at their child’s bedside. I’ve seen families who entirely dysfunctional, family members who show up drunk to hospital, moms who leave their child in the hospital then don’t come back and abusive situations that no one does anything about. It’s really eye opening to be in situations like these. I spent much time with a young girl, about 1 ½ years old, her mom brought her to the hospital and then was not seen again until the girl was discharged. Finally, when this child was able to go home, the mom couldn’t be reached and she had to stay in hospital an extra week before she could go home. It was heartbreaking. The experience is something its own. It's hard to put it all into words. There is so much I wish I could share, but I wouldnt know where to start. The hospital gave me plenty of stories to share when i go home. Some beautiful, but many heartbreaking...

Cape Town has been amazing to say the least.

Last week, I went to a beach about an hour away (via the train) and actually swam in the ocean. Despite being freaked out by the kelp and the sea urchins. I jumped off a giant boulder, about 15 feet, into the ocean, swam through kelp and snorkeled above some of the most beautiful scenery. I swam next to a baby pajama shark and a few other fish, found about 10 starfish, several puffer fish and scraped my knee on the muscles that I had to climb over to get out of the water. Earlier today, I swam with penguins and lay on the rocks next to them. The water was warm enough to relax in, which is pretty unusual for Cape Town water.  The experiences have been beyond amazing. I have definitely fallen in love here. I’ll be sad to leave. 

Let's Talk About Work

I had a presentation to give last Tuesday. I'm usually not very good at speeches and presentations, but this time everything went well. I had all my notes in order, i did not have a case of the jitters, my stomach was not doing flip flops and my coffee seemed to kick in on time. Everything seemed just to be calm. I presented for the Pain Team and a few other staff members at the hospital the case for Child Life - the benefits, work and role thereof. The presentation lasted about an hour between myself and the few other people who spoke. But enough about that for now.

The hospital is roller coaster. I have had a few days where everything seems to go well, i like my job, my patients are interactive and positive and I feel i have done my job to the best of my ability. There are other days where I do not want to be in the hospital, my patients do not want to interact, they are frustrated and do not respond to any interventions. These days I try to keep positive, but that is sometimes difficult.

I have worked with one patient for the past 4 months. He is a preteen oncology patient, frustrated by his long-term stay in the hospital and constant battle both physically and emotionally. Nearly every side-effect of  chemotherapy has affected him and so most of the time after treatment he has no energy, feels sick, has a sore mouth and can't talk. He spends several days after chemo simply laying in bed and unwilling to interact. After treatment the other day he was sore, but still wanted to play. His energy was low, but I could tell he was bored. Even tho he was tired and weak he still wanted to do something with his time. The kids on this ward spend so much time stuck in their beds due to their drips.It's like a double punishment - having to be in the hospital for an extended period of time and not allowed to get up and go play. I try to make life as  normal as possible, but sometimes it feels like trying to move mountains.

Another patient I see regularly is just over 3 years and has been in the hospital for nearly a year and a half. Not just in and out of hospital, but actually staying in the hospital for that long. She is in isolation and has not been able to play with other children in far too long. On top of that her family life is complicated, her mom and granny stay with her most of the time at the hospital, but the child/parent relationship is fairly unhealthy. She recently has shown signs of aggression and anger. Although this is an improvement from when I met her and she had anxiety with every person who was in her room. She now interacts freely with nurses, specialists and doctors who see her, but shows hostility when they do something she does not like. She and I spend a lot of time with medical play and trying to get mom to interact more in play. Because her mom has been somewhat distant towards her daughter, it has created an unstable attachment between them. Sometimes the girl wants her mom to be around, but then other times hits her mom to motion her to leave. On top of everything else, mom does not speak or understand any English and my Afrikaans is certainly lacking, so unfortunately, our communication is very little.

For the past 3 weeks, there has been a group of Child Life students from Ohio at the hospital. It has been good to have them around, a new type of work for me also. It has been a good experience to learn how to work along side peers and simultaneously be a "go to" person when questions arise. This week is their last week. The crazy thing is that everyone goes on holiday here at Christmas time.

The hospital does not schedule any surgeries, kids that are well enough to be discharged are and everyone leaves. Both my supervisors will be gone for my last month. It's nothing like at home where life pretty much just stays the same and keeps rolling through the holidays. The good news is that several of my kiddos have been discharged already or will be discharged before Christmas/New Years.

Speaking of New Year... i'm not ready for it. I'm just not ready to leave this beautiful country yet. This next month is going to be amazing. The weather just gets better and i can soak up as much sun as possible before heading to wintery coldness of the midwest next year :)